I figured it was time to join the rest of the world and put my life on blast for the world to see.
My life isn't honestly that great right now if I'm honest.
Every Aspect is...lacking
Family
I currently am only around my step-fathers family and I do love them dearly they accepted me into the family with open arms, however, there has been many a cousin who has tried to use the 'we're not blood' line.
Now my step-father is black....I am white...he did not come into my life until I was 14. I can see why some family members just can't see me as a fellow family member.
My mom is in England along with my Brother Sister and niece. My niece turns 1 in April and I have never met her...this literally breaks my heart every day. My sister is pregnant again with a little boy, due in late March...another birth I am going to miss. I have not talked to my mothers mother since I was 14...she's the devil reincarnate so that doesn't bother me too much. I never met my mothers father which makes me very sad. I have one uncle and 2 cousins. I haven't seen or spoken to my uncle in many years but not due to bad terms....just hasn't happened. I met my cousins once and am close to one not so much the other. I speak to both cousins on facebook regularly.
My biological father is not in my life...I'm happy about this but I rarely speak to any other family members on that side. His father died when I was about 6 months old. I was his favorite (his sons first child...it was a given) and I am convinced he is my guardian angel.I haven't seen or talked to my grandmother since I was 1. I have 2 aunts 1 uncle and 4 cousins. one cousin I have never met. the other 3 I'm just not close to.
Friends
I don't get along with women...I have maybe 6-7 female friends 3 of which I consider true friends...Dorian Melinda and Blossom...all of which I am slowly but surely becoming distant from...we all hung out in high school and it was odd to see me without at least one of these girls. We all have very separate lives now and I speak to Dorian the most.
Male friends....ugh...it seems I can't have a male friend that doesn't have some sneaky ulterior motive to the friendship...they either tell me they've fallen in love with me or they try to have sex with me and when I turn them down I never get another text again lol. except one....Greg....he is my most best friend in the whole world and even he seems to be becoming distant. we talk every day but the conversation just doesn't flow the way it used to
Relationship
I have a boyfriend...at least that's what he tells me. We've been 'together' approx 8 months. So far,we've hung out a few times...here's how that goes:
he picks me up
we have sex
he takes me home.
Doesn't feel like much of a relationship to me BUT my idiot self went and fell in love...good job me!!!
We rarely speak...I text him every morning but get a response about one time out of ten. If I call 9 times out of ten I'm ignored.
He doesn't like me even acknowledging other guys never mind actually being friends with them yet he has female friends....I dislike hypocrites. When I DO see him I have to wear particular outfits that omit certain articles of clothing...I call it my ho uniform and I hate it...makes me feel even more used than the whole ex situation. Everyone tells me oh he's cheating, he doesn't love you, he's using you, he's lying to you...leave him....but it's not that easy...
I really do love this man like crazy...I just wish he would treat me the way I deserve...then he'd be perfect in every way.
Work
I have a love/hate relationship with my job
I love my job as it's helping someone and I'm one of those soft mushy hearted people who gets a kick out of helping people. I take care of an elderly woman and on MOST days it's awesome. She has a wicked sense of humor and when her mind is right she has the most amazing conversation. She is super easy to please and I love seeing that little dance she does when she's excited
HOWEVER, lately hasn't been very good for her health wise. She has dementia and lately it's been kicking her behind. Shes talking ugly to everyone, seeing things that aren't there, and hearing voices. She fires me every other day then on her lucid days I get 'girl, you know I love you taking care of me,don't take any notice of my crazy old self'...
I don't get paid anywhere near enough I figured it out for definite yesterday and I get about $3.50 an hour...minimum wage in NC is $7.25 but I know he can't afford it so I'm just gonna stick it out.
